I see posts almost everyday on Facebook that are requesting prayers because a loved one has died. I think that’s fabulous!!!!
Who here keeps up with the grieving families and those who are left behind? Do you know that 3weeks later, 3 months later, even 3 years later, the grieving hearts are still grieving? Most of us aren’t event aware that 3 months has passed after we attend the funeral if it wasn’t our direct loss.
Did you know, most of us will experience 7 significant losses in our lifetime? Some start this experience very early on in life. When a loss is unexpected, sudden and premature in age it really messes with the grieving and healing process. It doesn’t make sense. It’s difficult to comprehend. It’s difficult to accept. Add to that, that most people in our country have not been educated enough on a grief and mourning ritual or process like many cultures in the eastern hemisphere. Our country, our societies and our communities don’t know what to say, do and are ill prepared and equipped to help those who are grieving.
How can I walk this journey and begin healthy healing?
Yes, you have permission to grieve, mourn, BE SAD for goodness sakes! You loved someone who is no longer here physically. You can’t talk with them face to face, hear their voice, see there smile, share hugs, tears and laughter with them in the physical sense any longer. If you didn’t love that person so much, it wouldn’t hurt so much.
Yes, you have permission to reach out for help. Why should you walk this journey alone? The journey is isolating enough itself, share it with someone who is compassionate. It’s okay to seek out someone you can talk with who will not judge, criticize, or try to fix you. Before I was a certified grief coach, I was a support group facilitator. Not only did I provide comfort and validation to others, I received it back ten-fold. Now, that I’m a certified grief coach, I can provide alternative methods and a more holistic approach to integrating life, loss and love for so many.
Yes, you have permission to be self-caring. If you do not take care of yourself, what on earth are you going to have left for others? If you are a spouse, parent, caregiver, etc. Your plate is full. When you are grieving the loss of a loved one, you have been depleted of your energy. It’s time to refuel!
How can ‘we’ as a society help someone who is grieving?
Remember the date of the loss. Write it down on your calendar every month for at least a year so you will remember. Then you can reach out to your friend who is grieving and let them know you are thinking about them. Yes, six months may have gone by, for you that could be a blink of an eye, for the griever their world stopped the day their loved one died. The grief is starting them in the face every single day. Reach out to them and let them know you remember and care.
Don’t know what to say? That’s okay, go DO something for your friend who is grieving. Pick up some groceries. Mow their grass or shovel the driveway. Take the kids for an outing. Bring them a meal. Have a cup of coffee with them and simply ‘be’ with them.
Don’t give up. If you invite your friend who is grieving to a social gathering, the movies, a party, bowling, whatever and they decline, don’t give up on them. Even if it’s been months and a dozen invites…. Don’t give up on them. Their world has been ripped apart.
If you are struggling with sadness, grief, unforgiveness, please feel free to contact me. I am a professionally certified Christian Grief Coach and a widow. I’ve been in a similar place as you are now. It is my JOY, passion and purpose to walk with you and be your beacon of light.
Your prayer requests have been shared and blessed.
Love and JOY,
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Grief Coach, Joy Restoration Coach, Emotion Strategist, Trainer, and Motivational Speaker
Hi, I am Cynthia. I have been where you are. I am proud of you for finding this site because that means you have reached out for help. I know how difficult that is. My passion is to walk YOUR walk with you. To companion you through the forward and backward steps and all the ones in between as you begin to heal and rediscover yourself and a new life. To LIVE well you MOURN well. To MOURN well you LOVE well. To LOVE well you LIVE well.
Cynthia's life experiences, her demeanor and education make her the perfect counselor! She is comforting but challenging; understanding and encouraging; and best of all she cares deeply about others and helping them through the challenges that life brings.
She has taught me how to move on in life and have feelings for another.. i know how it has gotten me through all the hate i had through the hard times....
Cynthia is a great listener. Her patience and experience are very helpful to grieving people who don't know how to live with this new status and life. Even though a member's loss may be very different from hers, Cynthia is able to give them some experiential perspective, and let them know that if they're willing to accept this change, they can build a happy life for themselves.
The experience of having someone there for me who understood made a major difference in my life. I slowly began to feel connected to the world again instead of feeling like I was on the outside looking in at other people. The education that Cynthia provided also helped me to feel empowered--"I can take care of myself."
Cynthia is not (nor has she ever been) just a coach or mentor. She's my friend. I know that, even now almost 8 years later, she is still there for me if I need her.
Being able to talk to someone that has already been in the phase of the grief journey that I was going through made it easier to get through each day.
I can welcome love into my life, most recently in the form of my precious grandson, Ethan. I feel happy looking forward to the future. There are times when a cloud will come over my life and I get sad missing my husband, but the cloud only stays a brief time. I have learned how to embrace the cloud remember my loved one and then let the cloud float away again. The clouds come so much less now than they did in the beginning. Through Cindy's guidance you learn how to live through those moments and then embrace the joy of life again. I'm blessed to have found Cindy early in my grief journey and have her walk it with me, teaching me the pitfalls and how to navigate them so that they aren't so dangerous. I live my life to the fullest most every day.