• 6 Top Tips Widows Should Know

    Posted on July 1, 2014 by Cynthia Gossman in Coping With Grief, Healing To Happiness, Honoring Your Loved One, Mourning.

    The following tips are not only derived from my own personal experience but that of hundreds of fellow widows that I have had the JOY of walking with on their unique, individual journey’s of widowhood.

    1. Refrain from making major decisions for at least a year.  Your focus, concentration and rational thinking have been compromised.  Plus, you may not remember a year or two down the road where you put the paperwork. This includes and not limited to: buying/selling property and vehicles, making financial investments, extravagant spending on items or vacations, and lending money to family/friends/business ventures.
    2. Do not isolate yourself – You are already feeling isolated and alone without your spouse, you need not grieve alone.  Talk with friends and family that will let you rant, vent, tell your story on repeat, cherish memories and speak their name without judgment. Join a support group and meet others who have experienced a similar loss.  Seek professional help with a certified grief coach or counselor.
    3. Ask for help – You are now responsible not only for everything you were used to taking care of but now all of your spouse’s roles and responsibilities.  Cash in with all of those people who said, “You just call if you need anything”!  Ask for help around the house, the yard, with the vehicles, the kids, etc.
    4. Refrain from dating – I know you are lonely and crave touch and companionship. But you are a mess! You’re heart is shattered. What do you really have to offer to someone else at this time? You may attract someone who is more broken than you and then find yourself having to ‘take care’ of them when you hardly have enough strength to take care of yourself.  It’s better to be alone than with someone else in an unhealthy relationship.
    5. Honor Grief Bursts – to grieve well is to mourn well which leads to living well.  In addition to feeling the emotions it’s a good idea to practice mourning – grief gone public – by journaling, singing, crying, painting, gardening, praying, walking, reminiscing with pictures and saying your loved ones name; it’s therapeutic to release your emotions through action.
    6. Practice Self-Care – It’s tough to take care of your SELF while taking care of others AND it is a necessity!  It’s vital you replenish your dry well.  Not one other person can do it for you.  Self-care can mean hiring help with chores and babysitting.  Self-care can include walking, indulging in a warm bubble bath, getting a massage, drinking plenty of water, eating comfort foods in moderation, get extra sleep by napping, visit the beach or lake anything in nature. Listen to music vs. the television. Replenish thy self with positive energy not negative energy.

    It is my passion and mission in life to help others, not just the widowed, process and heal from the loss of a loved one.  My prayer for you is that you find comfort and hope in this blog and that your souls will be filled with love and joy and your hearts filled with peace and happiness.

    Love and JOY,


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